Self-development and self-improvement: where to start?

What's stopping us

Firstly, fears. You just need to work with them, understand them, look for the cause and eliminate them. Or accept fear as it is; after all, it’s quite normal to be afraid, but still go towards your goal.

For the rest, you need to understand that the lack of time, conditions, opportunities are always just excuses, an expression of our own internal unwillingness to start doing what is needed. Because no matter what conditions we are in, no matter how much time we have, we can always do at least something, even just a little, but regularly, persistently, systematically.

It is clear that most often you want everything at once, and once you think about the path ahead of you, you give up altogether... But if we do nothing, then in ten years we will be in the same place where we are now. On the other hand, you have no idea how much you can do if you start doing what you can and just continue, stick with it, day after day.

Once upon a time, when I had a small child in my arms twenty-four hours a day, I could not even dream of starting to read again. There was neither time nor opportunity, and it was difficult to even imagine when they would appear again.

And yet, one day I told myself - if you read at least a sentence a day, sooner or later you can read at least one book. After all, you can definitely find time for an offer?

And everything worked out - at my request, they gave me an electronic reader for my birthday, and I started reading and read as much as I could. And there began to be opportunities for this - while the child in my arms was looking out the window, while he was swimming, while he was falling asleep, while I was standing in line somewhere. While my son was little, I read a lot of books, and some of them were very voluminous and difficult, for example, the Bible, the Koran, Proust's Time Regained, The House in which Mariam Petrosyan, Mythogenic Love of Castes, much from Pelevin and many, many more what, you won’t even remember everything.

I learned to read casually, immersing myself in a book no matter the noise or bustle around, instantly switching from what was written to what was happening in real life and vice versa. Although I used to be quite categorical on this issue, I couldn’t read if something bothered me.

And I not only read, but also wrote three books during this time. Before having a child, I also wrote a certain number of pages every day, but before that I always needed time to tune in, get pumped, and get to work. When my son was born, I couldn’t dream of such luxury; I only had an hour and a half a day when he was sleeping, and during this time I had to write a text. Therefore, I began to tune in to the process - I cooked, cleaned, loaded laundry, went to rock my son, and at the same time thought about what I would write about. And when he fell asleep, I immediately sat down and wrote.

Skills useful for self-improvement

Learning foreign languages

In today's world of mass globalization, knowledge of a foreign language can become an invaluable personal asset.

While you shouldn't expect to be fluent in another language in a couple of months, even knowing the basics can be a very useful skill in certain situations.

Meditation

Meditation is the practice of contemplation by concentrating attention on one object, which came from ancient times and originated in the vastness of India.

Meditation is like nothing else in this world and is a unique skill that is simple and yet difficult for some people.

It is not meditation itself that is interesting, but its result, which manifests itself in calming the mind, increasing the level of awareness, developing a better understanding of oneself and everything that happens, and getting rid of bad habits.

Time management

Time management is a technology for organizing time and increasing the efficiency of its use.

It's easy to waste time if you don't have a clear plan for how you're going to accomplish your tasks.

By using time management techniques, you can improve your punctuality and professionalism by devoting more time resources to the things that really matter to you.

Clear speech

The skill of competent and clear speech, when words are formulated correctly and endowed with the necessary level of energy, is an underrated quality that can still show itself in all its glory during a presentation, public speaking, participation in a meeting or interview.

Ability to dress tastefully

This skill will help you make a better first impression when meeting people, such as potential romantic interests, employers, or clients.

Healthy eating

As they say, you are what you eat. Therefore, eating healthy food will definitely improve your overall well-being, which is so necessary on the path of self-development. You don't need to go on a grueling diet. Just make the necessary changes to your diet by increasing the quality of food you eat and eliminating junk food.

Sport exercises

Energy is the key to performance that is smelted from the metal of regular training.

Start by setting achievable goals that work best for you: regular walking outdoors, evening jogging, going to the pool or gym, exercising at home.

Martial arts

Improving your body control skills in combination with the ability to repel hostile people will not only develop your physical capabilities, but will also ensure an increase in self-confidence and peace of mind.

Playing a musical instrument

Mastering the skill of playing a musical instrument will help you relax after a tiring day, and also be the center of attention when in the company of people, unless, of course, it is a double bass.

Finding your passion

Finding yourself stuck under the pressure of an unbearably monotonous life is not the best conditions for personal development.

To leave behind the dull existence of life, find what truly turns you on and never let it go.

Optimism

A positive outlook on the surrounding reality is a powerful source of internal energy both for yourself and for the people around you.

By steadily developing positive thinking, you become more productive, self-controlled and confident.

After all, good things happen more often to optimistic people.

Listening skills

The ability to listen to people is the basis of successful communication. However, many of us are accustomed to interrupting when others are speaking.

Listening carefully can greatly improve the effectiveness of your communication and provide you with a better response when it's your turn to speak.

Reading books

A book is a source of wisdom. The more books you read, the more knowledge you absorb.

New hobby

Find something new and at the same time interesting for you, for example, a new sport or leisure activity: fencing, rock climbing, ice skating, dancing, web design, Italian cooking.

Attending courses

Courses are a great way to gain new knowledge and skills.

This does not have to be long-term training - trainings and seminars also solve similar problems.

Courses can help you develop new ideas that may not have popped into your mind before.

Overcoming your fears

Each person in the cozy apartment of his mind has his own room of fear. This could be fear of insecurity, fear of public speaking, fear of taking risks, etc.

All existing fears keep us in our current situation, being obstacles to self-development.

Recognize that inner fear is a spotlight that illuminates areas of your life where you can grow.

Early awakening

Getting out of bed early in the morning, i.e. around 6 a.m. is recommended by many motivational trainers such as Anthony Robbins, Robin Sharma and others.

This is necessary, they believe, to improve their performance and quality of life.

Ignore toxic people

Each person is usually greatly influenced by the 5 people with whom he spends the most time.

But wherever you go, there will inevitably be some negative people, both towards themselves and towards others.

Don't waste your precious time on such characters if you feel the negative energy emanating from them. Appreciate and love yourself.

Learn to deal with difficult people

There are times when it is not possible to avoid unpleasant people, for example, due to duty.

Learn to deal with these “difficult” objects because this people management skill will be a very useful tool for you throughout your life.

Learn to let go of the past

Is there some kind of resentment or unpleasant memory from the past that just doesn’t want to leave you? If so, it's time to let him go.

The stranglehold your brain has on this negative yet intense emotion prevents you from moving forward and becoming a better version of yourself.

Forgive yourself, forget about past events and continue on your way.

Look for opportunities

I started blogging on LiveJournal when my son was six months old. I fought for these minutes that were needed for this - there was no other option, because there was no way to leave the child with someone and mind my own business.

If you think that someone should come and allow you to do what you like, create these conditions for you because you need it, then you are mistaken. It's unlikely that anyone will want to do this for you if you don't want to. Therefore, you don’t have to wait for understanding from others – do it for yourself. Look for time, opportunities, start doing it and don’t think that someone should allow you to do it.

I started writing my first book when I was still working in an office from nine to six. I didn't have the time or energy to do anything else, but the need to write was so strong that I told myself the same thing I would say about reading a few years later - I would write as much as I could, at least a sentence a day. And when I quit my job, this first book was almost finished. Yes, I wrote it for almost a year and in the end it turned out to be so-so, but it was the beginning, the experience without which everything else would not have happened.

What's the end result?

And in the end, we get a ready-made guide to self-development (believe me, these five elements will be enough for you). Start by giving up useless activities and developing your thinking. Periodically remember that life is fleeting and time passes. Add to this immediate action and the right distribution of forces, and you will immediately begin to change and grow.

And if you want everything to be faster:

• Write down all your ideas and re-read them from time to time.
• Build a better image of yourself
• Plan your week
• Treat time as a valuable resource
• Take at least one step towards achieving your goal every day
• Communicate with smart, energetic and developing people
• Lead a healthy lifestyle
• Learn to live in the present
• Be open and honest with yourself
• Take criticism well
• Don't be afraid to say "No" to people who waste your time.

We don’t want to feed you any illusions: self-development is not a job for the faint of heart, not for the lazy, and not for whiners. At the same time, this is a job for everyone. Anyone can begin to engage in self-development and achieve outstanding results in life. Just try to follow our advice for at least 21 days, and after three weeks you won’t want to go back to your old life.

In short, it's all up to you. If you want to develop, start making yourself the master of your destiny, and don’t remain a slave to the system and a victim of circumstances. We wish everyone to look in the mirror and see in front of them a person who is really worth something. And for more motivation, watch this short video:

We also recommend reading:

• Storytelling
• Habits that lead to hell
• Proactive and reactive thinking
• The best blog content in 2020: psychology
• Lessons of Wisdom from Confucius
• Overcoming Procrastination with Thoughts
• 5 surefire ways to waste time and regret it in the end
• Actions that a person will regret in 5 years
• The best blog materials in 2020: developing thinking, brain training, self-education
• Self-development
• Ten thoughts on negative thinking

Keywords:1LLL

Set realistic goals

When you think about how to start doing something, set realistic goals for yourself. For example, I always knew that I couldn’t handle ten pages a day. And even when there was already time for this, I did not aim at such a norm, I wrote three at a time. I could write three pages in any state and in any lack of inspiration.

It is important to have a task in front of you that you can cope with in almost any conditions. If it is excessive, it will cause fear and anxiety and constant frustration if you do not deal with it. You want this daily task to motivate and inspire you.

Regularity

You need to fulfill your set quota every day, or at least regularly; if, for example, you decide that you will knit a hundred rows every Tuesday and Thursday, then it is very advisable to stick to this routine. That is why your norm should be feasible - you must cope with it, even if you are not feeling very well or are busy with other things, but you must be sure that your task is still within your power, even if you may have to , a little tired.

In principle, of course, there is nothing wrong with a one-time deviation from the set goal. But only if it really is a one-time thing. As usual, it happens to us - today we allowed ourselves to slack off because we had a headache, tomorrow we had to go somewhere urgently, the day after tomorrow something else urgent arose - after all, there are always some important things to do. But to start doing something, you need to put your goal above all this. And at the same time, you need to be a strict controller for yourself, who, unlike me, who is shirking, remembers very well that in ten years he wants to be in a completely different place, and therefore it is better not to give himself any concessions and not allow himself to relax.

Don't wait for inspiration

Don’t think that you can create only in some special moments when wonderful inspiration descends on us. Such moments are valuable for the ideas that are revealed to us. The work process is a routine. You sit down and do it. Get ready and go. You shake yourself, drink coffee, listen to loud music, sing along, smile in front of the mirror and after that you go and just start doing.

Again, don’t forget – appetite comes with eating. Creativity and, in general, any activity that we like are wonderful because they fill us with energy. Therefore, it is worth making an effort on yourself and starting to do what you like, and before we even notice, inspiration will appear, your mood will rise, and then you will also be pleased with the satisfaction of what you have done.

First steps - where to start making changes?

Everyone intuitively knows and feels that it is better to start with yourself . But it is very difficult to do this, and, in general, the first steps are always the most difficult. But the essence of the problem also lies in the fact that it is necessary to choose the only correct path along which it will be necessary to go, without turning, for some time. And also decide what exactly you would like to achieve. To do this you need:

1. Conduct a little research into your life and your own “I”. Think about what aspects you would like to correct, make better, what you don’t like at all, and what aspects it would be desirable to largely eliminate. It is easier to carry out such work not in the mind, but on a piece of paper, writing down all the exciting points, separating, of course, the positive from the negative.
2. Then you need to write down each position, that is, write opposite what you want - why you want to achieve this and how to achieve the goal. Those items on the list that have a negative connotation should also be written down, and then crossed out and forgotten about them.

All you need to start changing is a piece of paper and a pen! Why is it so important to write down?! Yes, because it’s very difficult to take it and start changing right away! By writing, you put your thoughts in order. Order in your head means order in your life. For more information about this, read our article: How to write down goals correctly and why it is needed

It is precisely this action - writing down your desires, aspirations, needs on a piece of paper - that is the first step towards changing your life, becoming better! It's time for change! A checklist helps you most accurately determine your goal and understand what needs to be removed from your life and what needs to be added in order for it to satisfy you.

A start! But you cannot expect instant improvements, transformations and metamorphoses. This process is quite long and difficult. You need to have a lot of patience. Expecting quick changes can only ruin the whole mood, which will lead to an inevitable breakdown and a return to one’s “trough.”

To change your life you need to tirelessly, constantly work on yourself. It is possible that at first bad thoughts will swarm in your head, your mind will look for all sorts of evidence that happiness is the lot of other people, etc. Almost everyone who has embarked on the path of positive change sins with this. The main thing is not to stop, pull yourself together and continue! And in order not to slip back into your previous attitudes again, you need to use the following recommendations and ways to change your life in a positive direction.

Rest

And yet we must not forget that we must not push ourselves. Working seven days a week may be productive in the short term, but how long can we last in this mode? That is, again, the goals and objectives must be feasible, for six days in a row we fulfill the norm set for ourselves, and on the sixth we rest. And when the temperature is thirty-nine, you shouldn’t demand that you fulfill the plan. And even when the illness is behind you, but you still don’t have the strength, you need to allow yourself to come to your senses, recover and not suffer because things are at a standstill. It’s better to think that these breaks in our activities are given to us for a reason, and maybe we need to rethink and think about something.

So this is a very correct question of how to start doing something - the main thing is to start doing it in such a way that it brings benefit and pleasure, produces results and not just short-term ones. Of course, nothing will come of this without effort on our part, but it is always worth remembering that even if we read a sentence a day, sooner or later we will read the entire book.

Efficiency in detail

You're ready to take action, that's great, but it pays to prepare thoroughly. Take advantage of everything that happens and look at ordinary things from a different angle.

An elementary walk or a trip to the supermarket will be an excellent way to find free space to rent if you plan to open a store. Maybe now, among passers-by, you will see the face of your future spouse if you have decided to end your single life.

An ordinary day can turn into a happy accident. Act, looking to the future with a smile, and life will reciprocate you.

Foster responsibility

How to gather strength and start acting? Start with responsibility!

From childhood, parents teach children to be responsible for their actions. Understand that any action entails a number of consequences - good or bad, you choose. You can not only create, but also destroy.

If you decide to take action, remember responsibility. People with this position always achieve what they want. Put your soul into it and speak out your dreams. Direct your energy in the right direction and act, meet your expectations.

Give yourself completely to the cause.

Why you shouldn't save energy

There are several reasons that will convince you to generously manage the capabilities of the subconscious and act actively, without saving resources:

1. Human energy is limitless and the rationality of its use depends on us.
2. Act without thinking and don’t try to save energy - that’s when you lose it.
3. The adaptive function of a person makes it possible to generate as much energy as is required to replenish costs. Every day we fill ourselves with knowledge, food and physical activity, as a result of which energy is generated that generates thoughts and plans into real actions.

Agree, nature has done everything for man to begin to act.

Only exists today

Live in the present moment too. “Yesterday” and “tomorrow” do not matter much if you are inactive today. Of course, you need to make plans for the future, but you should start implementing them immediately, otherwise the ship of life, steadily moving forward, will throw you overboard.

Did you know that every unfulfilled promise hangs like a burden on a person’s mind? Over time, this burden will become unbearable and will break you. Don’t put off important things until tomorrow, finish what you start and fight apathy.

While you are thinking about whether to act or not, someone has already begun to make your dreams come true.

Think less, do more

Get rid of negative thoughts that destroy you from within. Destructive thoughts introduce doubts and predict failures, making it difficult to start. Just act and fear will not take over your mind.

Think constructively and be enthusiastic. Imagine the effective outcome of your planned business and, without a shadow of a doubt, go into battle!

You need to start without unnecessary thoughts, do not let the negativity prevail.

Empiricism is everything

Empiricism is translated from Greek as “experience.” A special school of philosophy says that action is the only true method of perception.

For example, without practical actions, knowledge of space would be unrealistic. In theory, the essence is clear, but humanity received in-depth knowledge only with the return of the astronauts to Earth. Scientists began to act - humanity became stronger.

Playwright and novelist Bernard Shaw believed that practical activity is the only path leading to knowledge. This outstanding person received the Nobel Prize in Literature in 1925; there are two such people in the world.

Even if you don’t have a clear algorithm of actions, start small, and everything will go like clockwork.

Taking action now is the right decision!

Conqueror's Faith

People tend to predict falls. Practice shows that the chances of failure and success are equal. You can expect failure, but the idea will be brilliantly brought to life. We need to start acting positively. The power of thought does not predict failure.

Think about whether you should worry. It is much easier to program yourself for joy, happiness and success. Don’t waste your energy on negativity, act, go towards your goal boldly.

Metaphorical cards and transformation games for wisdom and inspiration

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